Legless the mechanic knows it all

Shorty come by my place last Wednesday. He was dancing for joy, well as much of a dance that a legless man can do! He looks damn daft trying to dance, more like a rabbit with a firecracker up his ‘you know what’. He says he reckon that everything going to come right by the end of the year. He feels confident, he says, that a new contract with Government will come through for him in his business. He reckon his competition going to fizzle out. He reckon some SAS super trooper going to pop one between them eyes of the Russian President, yes, the one who made us all an enemy of Russia. Whaaat, “what I ever done to piss Russia off?” He says the fuel prices going to come down, and even if they don’t, CONNECT going to put solar all over the island and electricity prices will come crashing down. He says that SURE going to get the contract and we will all be getting really quick internet for 50 quid per month unlimited. He is confident that Jamestown going to be looking like it did 300 years ago instead of looking like it’s 300 years old. Side path Road and The Ladder be fixed up spik and span! He even says he knows that a canning facility be in operation by the end of next year, fish quotas will double and all the fishing people be able to make a few pounds and what’s more, he says Mantis going to be privately owned! “CRUMMINS” …I said to him… “How you know all that?” “Oh”, he says, I heard the voice… a divine message from the Angel at Number 10”